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July 15, 2015

DYING to LIVE - by Minerva Speaks

Have you ever said to yourself "I'm dying to do this or that, I'm dying for a drink? Or this day to end" perhaps?

I know I have! This is MY unique insight into what is really happening with our existence on this earth. We are all heading towards a final destination & resting place – Death comes to us all. Edging closer and closer to this, each day, unbeknownst to us, is the minute or the hour.

However, sometimes someone may be called upon, to stand a test, after which, their life will never be the same - ever again; however, their testimony may save the lives of countless others! That someone was ME!

As the autumn nights of 2013 were drawing in, all around preparations were being made for Christmas. Shops filled with glittering trees, carols galore and over-stocked shelves, in preparation for the customer frenzy that was due to imminently occur. A time the Merchants love, more than any other time of year!

I was not feeling very Christmassy (not that I ever do!) Of more conern, was that I had the beginnings of a cold!

The presumed cold worsened and appeared to be more like flu.. KMT! The darkness of the long evening remained longer than i cared for, stealing precious daylight hours, and was a constant reminder and representation of the sombre mood resting over MY family.

This was going to be the first year without my cousin – Patricia Campbell – she collapsed in her church, the day before her birthday on 28 January 2012, never regaining consciousness, despite all best efforts to save her life.

My mum had now lost three important female family members, in what seemed like quick succession and I had been heavily active in all three processes of passing & preparations.

With the November nights, came the the strangest pain; one that when asked, I could not explain…

Beyond what I'd already said, which, to me, was quite simple talk...

"I have terrible pain, that I feel when I walk!"

The tests were fruitless, so I began operation fight back. Immune system; Gym membership; getting healthier!

To be honest, Jerk Chicken had me hooked! Whatever my mood; that was my food! "Just bring on the Jerk!" however, i was determined to work this body within an inch of it's life, sacrifice the Jerk chicken & rice; and so the research began and the manifestation of the plan!

Henry Ford said, "if you think you can, or you think you can't, – you're right!"

So I concluded that I had nothing to worry about and I had 'at best a cold, and at worst the flu' and these things often go away on their own, with little or no intervention.

Christmas came nearer and those around me who were hearing me at the time, would say: "Oh, that sounds bad, get those pains checked!"

Sounds like good advice right? It is in isolation! The entire conversation centred on 'me' doing what I always did and the expectations that I always would.. despite the seriousness that was becoming more apparent to me.

I had been Doing it ALL... Supporting ALL; Giving My ALL and now I was facing the reality of it ALL.

I'd learnt through my years as a carer, and the traumatic, sudden loss of my Cousin,,when YOUR Body Can't go anymore... IT WILL STOP!

To be continued...

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